Upping The Ante

The latest cinematographical adaptation of a not-quite-literary work has hit the big screens with much fanfare and hoopla all across the globe and, finally, in America too - and I completely forgot to give it a second thought, even... Aye, we are talking about the Avengers; the four-color ones, not Mrs. Peel & Steed... 

However, since everyone and their cousin is talking about them, it's enough of an excuse for us, here, on the Literati Blog, to devote yet another post to this so-called sequential art and all of its insidious ramifications all over the place: and, so, here we go again! 

On the heels of this latest film release, and, perhaps, as some sort of harbinger of doom (an umpteenth one) for the genre, May 5th saw another edition of what is an annual event now for all comic-book aficionados out there - all thirteen of them that are left. It is a testament to the resilience of this dying breed that they succeeded in superseding the meaning of Cinco de Mayo with their very own fabricated event: Free Comic Book Day. And since everyone loves a freebie, this one succeeds in brilliant fashion indeed in bringing back, be it for just that one single day, customers that have seldom been at the comic-book shops in recent times (those shops that still exist, somehow) or those who have never been there in their lifetime...!  Never underestimate the power of the freebie! It is up to those comic-book-guys, then (the shop owners and employees, on the first wave, but most meaningfully, the creators and publishers of the stuff) to make it count when they actually have an increased audience or an audience at all: and sell multiple copies of their other publications, non-participants in the FREE comic-book day event...! Because you know it well: when anyone is reduced to giving anything away like this, it is because business is BAD. And this kind of stunt is, of course, the last ditch effort to remedy to that.

Interestingly enough, we have noticed something different this time out (finally - lest this is a first and a new twist added this year that wasn't present at all ij the previous years - for this ''last ditch effort'' has been going for a number of years now, as the medium dies a long, slow, atrociously painful death... It is sad, verily - but it is the way it is.) 

The new addition is a sub-category: for there was, as best as we can remember, only one before: one line of free comic-books, none of which were even comical, the first time out... Over the years, they had all genres represented, really: from cartoony hijinks à-la-Simpsons to hardcore-superheroics à-la-Spawn - everything and anything was given away, for free.  They were mere teasers, unfinished (in the sense of barely polished, too) tales meant to encourage readers to buy the complete series and all the spin-offs that would surely ensue.  Anyhow, no matter how bad, these were free - but limited. Only about a dozen of different titles were offered and it was one copy per customer, too. There are limits to altruism - always. 

This year, thus, we see something different: 32, count them, 32 different ones are being offered here! And they are sub-divided into two distinct categories: gold and silver! Why no bronze? That was our first question, really... And they could have gone on, too: platinum, mercury, tin foil. For the offerings are diverse enough to sub-categorize to the infinite here - well, almost. 

In the ''gold comics'' top category, we have the usual suspects: the aforementioned Avengers, of course, along with the New 52 from DC (led by the mighty JLA, the *true* mightiest super-heroes of all, who might be mightily pissed off for two reasons rather than a single one now: it was bad enough that the Avengers beat them to the punch in the 'race to the big screen treatment' there - but, on top of that, these freebies being sort of The New 32, they're also stealing some of the thunder from their company's New 52-plus...! Oh well - nothing is original in these things anymore, anyhow! So let's just move on...!) for, then, there's also that wretched Simpsons presence with ''Bongo Comics'' (the Simpsons know a thing or two about long painful decay and not wanting to go away, too) along with the rest of them ''usual suspects'' - Star Wars, Transformers, Mega Man, Image... YoGabba Gabba?!?  Heck, even the Peanuts are making a comeback this year...!  Mr. Schulz must be rolling in his grave; his creation comes back in support of a Kabloom kablooey toon that sort of rips it off. Wow.

That was for the run-of-the-mill, trite-as-a-trout, boring-as-a-boar seen-it-all and déjà-vu kind of fare, unoriginal-to-the-bone and all... That's the ''gold comics'' for ya! 

The ''silver comics'' must be inspiring themselves from the far-more eventful silver age of the medium: for they go in all kinds of directions and, if it still sucks eggs as some comic-book aficionado we know would say, well, it does rate something like a C+ for the mere effort... Maybe?!? 

Headlining this category are many more comeback coups that no one thought would or should have been attempted: Buffy, Burt Ward (Boy Wonder!) and... Elvis. Graphic Elvis.

 You can probably download previews of all of these, still, if you go on this site - now!  

Other offerings are simply bizarre, rehashing stuff that we've seen before, a million times over, stuff that is purported to be greater, this time out, due to the affiliation it bears with a so-called big name: like the latest return (from the dead? What - again?!?) of Lady Death - brought to you by Brian Pulido! Just like if it was 1999, eh?

Possibly the most unsympathetic character-find ever 

after Dracula, Hannibal Lecter and the Devil - 

but this one has curves...

Or like the following: an umpteenth take on the ''guy without faith or any set of beliefs to speak of'' who turns out to be ''humanity's last chance''... Ha.  The mere fact that it is patronized by Gale Anne Hurd, producer of such films as Terminator and Aliens and, alas (for her) also behind that wretched Walking Dead thing on cable TV... So, the mere fact that she is associated with this in some obscure way (probably preparing a possible next bad-TV-show, in the eminent advent of a WD cancellation!) is suppose to elevate this drivel to the heights of the genre...? And when we say genre, we mean fantasy-horror-gothic fare, not merely comic-books! Talk about inflating the importance of something way out of proportion: talk about upping the ante (or is it upping the Anti, in this case?) She probably saw the writer's premise for this book and, encouraged by the persistent rumours that Garth Ennis' Preacher will get the big-screen treatment incessantly, too (despite hordes of protests against it - or, if there weren't exactly ''hordes,'' there will be.) she decided to snatch it while it was hers to take, still...? Between the bad taste that Kevin Smith's Dogma left in everyone's mouth, the pathetic failure of ''Legion'' and ''Priest'' (and most every other film that Paul Bettany is featured in - but that is another story) not to mention superior fare such as Solomon Kane and Constantine - do you truly believe that this is worth upping the ante upon, Gale?  May the Good Lord Have Mercy upon your production company then, Gale...!

    

''ANTI''... ?!? 

Since when is the Antichrist 

supposed to be the Saviour...?!? 

Someone misread the Bible 

BIG TIME... 

A book full of charming charring things such as rapist-demons who take their victims to motels named ''Our Miraculous Lady Motel'' and tomboy terminatrixes who come in the nick of time to save their naked rear ends as if right on cue - that's supposed to be action, adventure, humor and irony, Gale? 

Don't try that on AMC...

Comic-book publishers gamble indeed - and they gamble big time here: they gamble that the teasers they offer, free of any charge, will pay for themselves by whetting the appetites of all the prospective readers that they have left. And those guys (and gals, sure) will cover the charges as they buy all of the follow-up... If that doesn't work, there might always be a desperate TV producer, network executive or filmmaker, creatively bankrupt to an extent that makes him (or her, surely) willing to buy these properties in order to keep it rolling...

Laisser les bons temps rouler - as they'd say in Baton Rouge! 

The only problem here is that these are anything but good times for the comic-bookies, their staffs or their industry overall!  Couldn't have happened to nicer bunch, too...

When Captain America Throws His Mighty Shield...

Copyright: Marvel Entertainment
Why no Human Torch on the cover, though?  That's not the Torch - that's Toro!  Don't try pulling wool over my eagle-eyes, Marvel!  Torch, being an android, wouldn't look so scrawny  next to your Mr.Sub-Scrawny there  Yet-Made-Out-To-Be-So-Impossibly-Strong  (it proves my theory that he and Impossible Man  were indeed separated at birth!  But that is another sordidly impossible story...)  BRING BACK THE REAL HUMAN TORCH! I say!
He's much more spectacular than scrawny pointy ears there...!
Said misbegotten mutant wannabe is blocking the view of the
sanctimonious shield on top of all that...! Sheesh!
The nerve of that irksome misbegotten mutie mixed breed!  Between him, powerless Bucky and the beefed up former nerd Cappo,  what could the Axis possibly have feared, really?
Truly, the Invaders were one of the most boring teams ever...
The Nazis could have won in the Marvel Universe! But that's not the, er, point here... really!

With the resurgence of patriotism (thanks to Anonymous - the 99% - which does NOT comprise Marvel execs, Brian Michael Bendis or Joe Quesada, fear not!) one simply had to expect a resurgence of Cappo in the 21st Century as well. Now helmed by the finest pens four-color can afford, Cappo & Co. are shining once again - and we at the Literati Blog simply had to, at the very least, leaf through the pages once more, just in case... Click on the picture above for a complete, thorough and even insightful review of issue #622 of "Captain America"... (Man alive - 622 issues! How much paper has been used here - how many trees sacrificed for... THIS? For, as we all know, Captain America and most comic-bookies were born, in the 40s, as mere propaganda fare: the cheapest and easiest to produce for the entire USA: nothing too good for the morale of our troops and peeps, folks! Uncle Sam said so. And we're digressing already.)

Thus, Captain America is BACK! Pardon, it is now titled "Captain America & Bucky" indeed - even though both characters were rumored to be dead for the longest time (and, in fact, they really should be and should have been for quite a while now! I mean, being World War II veterans and contemporaries of Roosevelt, Churchill, Piaf, Cerdant, Chevalier, Hayworth, Astaire, Nin, Henry, June, Tracy & Hepburn (to name but those) - they would be close to 120 years-old or something, these days? You can be in shape and all - but come on! Nobody lives forever: super-soldier serum coursing in your veins or not! And besides, as this issue emphasizes (or overemphasizes) so well, Bucky had no such thing in *his* veins and no special abilities whatsoever - so how could he have lived for so long?!? Marvel made a booboo - again.)

Well, truth is, Bucky died - again. And this time, he will likely stay dead. However, that doesn't stop Marvel to milk the cow for all it is worth, while the recent movie is still in some theaters, somewhere, and it won't impede them from having some flashback stories that were, supposedly, "never told" before... Them Nazis are a never-ending source of inspiration, it seems - and they have made quite a comeback in fiction, particularly the seventh art, generally speaking. In movies alone, indeed, they have been at the core of several hit films in recent years (from the Inglorious Basterds remake to the Marvel byproduct "X-Men: First Class" - both employing actor Michael Fassbender, coincidentally! Quite the shame (pun fully intended) that he did not participate in "Captain America: The First Avenger" - it would have been another first, one supposes: an actor indulging in triple Nazi-bashing within a mere two years or so! But maybe Steve McQueen or John Wayne did that, already...? Let me check... I might not be back...)

In sequential art, Nazis are understandably at the core of several heroes' mystique: from Cappo here all the way to Hellboy! And let's not forget MAÜS. So it is not surprising or astonishing at all that they are, once more, the villains of choice... Such retro action is not surprising at all, also, especially when one is revisiting the origins of a hero who was "first" in his illustrious star-spangled category...! Well, never mind the fact that there have been way too many "firsts" on the Marvelous firmament lately... But that is another story.

Issue #622 (wow - so many issues you've got, Cap! Most notable now that DC is axing everything they've accumulated -which is considerable as they'd gotten started even before you did- and restarting fifty-two titles just like yours all at issue number ONE. Everybody wants to be number one - but that's another story too) and its long, drawn-out (and overdrawn) flashback is actually firmly focused on the character of Bucky, mind you - not Cappo at all. And, as such, it can be even more boring than any single Invaders tale of old (that group. I tell you, lacked a lot of talent that was readily available over at the competition's Justice Society of America/All-Star Squadron! But that is, again, another story entirely...) - however it is, admittedly, the best that this medium can get to be right now and the closest it gets to literature, at any time, so...

Click on the picture abo... er, below, already!
:-)



Copyright: Marvel Entertainment
I know I said it lacked something in many ways:
in common sense, displaying boring members only
and not focusing on the true star of this issue,
it lacks in background art too,
going for the easy way out there,
and it lacks plain old "oomph"...!
But you didn't have to cast Bucky out of the spotlight, Marvel!  This issue was all about him,  and yet he's relegated to the background - again.
That's cruelty to Bucky!
And Lord Knows he suffered enough of that...!
So, then,  why bring him back - for yet MORE...?!?  He was dead - had paid his dues - but you just had  to dig him out and inflict some more  punishment on the wee lad, didn't you?
(Okay - that is DEFINITELY an entirely different story -
for another time, another post, another blog!)

But really now...  We thought we'd add to this post rather than waste space and time putting together another post on the same tired old subject: Cappo here and America! 
For this post has to be more than a mere review of one of them tired old comic-bookies (their medium sure is getting tired - and old! But that is another story...)
I used to say that Cappo was totally out of place on the roster of teams with such names as ''Invaders'' and ''Avengers'' - because I used to think that he belonged on a team with an august name such as the JUSTICE League of America. That was the young idealistic me speaking...  Nowadays, the evidence is so clear: plus, as we grow older, we grow wiser, more astute, more observing... A character named Captain America NEVER belonged on a team with JUSTICE in its designation. He truly was at home with the INVADERS - which is exactly what Americans are, most of the time, in all of their interventions worldwide, falsely disguised as brave fights for freedom, liberty and... justice.  The JUSTICE LEAGUE (note that I have stopped saying ''of America'' a long time ago - even longer than DC actually cut it out of the name themselves!) being a team chock-full of aliens of all sorts (probably spear-headed by a powerless psychopath on a huge power trip since he is, after all and above all, a control freak - Batty.) is hardly better than the AVENGERS - but, at least, it still vehicules a noble concept, not merely the abysmal desire for vengeance. CAPTAIN AMERICA should indeed be all that AMERICA is, if he is to represent it faithfully: over all those long years he has been embellished in various traits to reflect what America wants to be viewed as, but is definitely not. If other such characters are virtual amalgams of all of their nation's denizens, then Cappo here should be a far-less idealistic depiction nowadays - a revolting and grotesque figure would come out of this creative process (or deconstruction?) and so it is better not to be. After all, the damnable Avengers already have the HULK for that purpose and effect. In that sense, with a technocrat, a hulkish brute, a norse stranger, a redheaded backstabber, an intense marksman probably untrustworthy and a paranoid patriot (which is what Cappo should be, at best) the AVENGERS probably represent the sad, lamentable U.S. of A. better than the old JLA aka JUSTICE LEAGUE ever did or ever will. 

And all that simply makes the boy that I used to be, still alive inside the man that I became, incredibly sad and disillusioned with most of it, if not it all... 
However, just like Cappo, I will survive...!